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    August 08

    往事

      
       
    因为身体问题,不得不早睡。即使很有感觉想画画也只能忍着。不过因为这两晚他不让我跟他一起睡,我怕黑睡不着所以就听电台了。
    听着播通宵的音乐点播节目,睡意全无。不断变换的音乐,思绪也跟着不断变化。想起了很多往事,回味了很多的感觉。
     
    我也有做过电台的fans,整天就躲在房间,调着频道,不愿错过好听的歌曲节目。甚至刻录录音带,刻了很多,可是搬家的时候都扔了。
     
    很多很多的往事,很多很多的感觉,很多很多的想法。以往或者至今,血液里仍流着孤独的成分吧。有段时期,很喜欢独自游荡。穿梭城市的大街小巷。坐车夜游。由一个终点站到另一个终点站。那时暗恋某男生,我没有去过他家,只知道他家的电话号码,根据号码猜想他家的位置,然后坐车到那附近。下车后到电话亭,打电话给他。记得是他接的电话。知道他家有来电显示,我是想让他知道,我就在他的附近。等待着他的恩典。那晚心情很低落。聊了几句我就挂电话了。然后在附近游荡了几圈。最后坐车回家了。完成了那晚的探索之旅。
     
    至今他依然不知道,我为他做过的许多傻事,不过也不必知道了。他已经给了我这么多宝贵的心情。勇气和力量。他说,创作需要孤独的血液,我拥有的,他希望我能成功。可惜小女子无能,只能偶尔画点骗小孩的小画,骗些赞赏,满足一下虚荣心。然后懒惰。。休眠。。。只因有了我爱和爱我的人。
     
    从治疗室出来,他说,别人都像没事发生过一样,精神如常地从楼梯消失。就只有我,像只弱小的小猫,一出来就粘着。我说,我有你可以撒娇为什么还要装坚强呢?不是吗?是你让我懒惰的喔~~~~
     

     

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